Re: Draft 4.0

From: Stephen J. Sanders (ssanders@ku.edu)
Date: Mon Jun 30 2003 - 22:49:33 EDT

  • Next message: Peter H. L. Christiansen: "Re: Draft 4.0"
    Dear Claus and Ian,
    First, Congratulations on pulling together a nice story.
    Now for the nitpicking...
    
    On Figures 2 and 4 I don't understand the "error" band along the y-axes 
    at the
    abscissa values of 0.
    
    The references obviously need more work!  (Although it would be amusing 
    to
    see the referees responses to the "who knows this ???" references...).
    For the Hijing reference, Hiro used version 1.383 for the d+Au 
    calculations.  (The nuclear
    distribution for a deuteron using a Hulthen wave function was 
    introduced in version 1.382.)
    
    Para 5:  	First sentence.  Needs final ", respectively"
    		3rd sentence.  Same problem that I found before.  As best I can tell
    			this is a classic run-on sentence, with the final "and normalized to"
    			introduced as a sentence fragment.  If you feel this last clause is
    			essential (which I doubt), I would suggest a more parallel 
    construction
    			such as:  "The spectra are from measurements at various magnetic 
    fields and
    			have been corrected for the acceptance of the spectrometers and for 
    the
    			tracking efficiencies and have been normalized to the number of 
    events."
    		In sentence beginning "We have compared our ..", remove comma before
    			"recently measured by the STAR..."
    Para 10:	Now having reread the document, I think if you replace 
    "participant zone"
    		with "participant volume" you can tie the general idea back to the
    		introductory discussion and avoid the introduction of an
    		ill-defined concept.
    
    Para 11:  A hyphen rather than a dash should be used in "between a 
    two-nucleon system".
    
    Fig. 1 caption:  I think for the parenthetical comment "(appropriately 
    scaled)" you mean
    		"(scaled as indicated)".   The use of "appropriately" can be 
    confusing since we
    		also "appropriately scale" this distribution when forming the R_AA 
    distributions.
    Fig 3.  Add : "Statical (error bars) and systematic (grey bands) 
    uncertainties are indicated."
    Fig 4. "...are denoted by the shaded bands."  (plural for bands)
    
    One obvious weakness that a referee might focus on is the use of the 
    min-bias dAu
    results.  Since we do not show a comparable min-bias Au+Au spectrum,  
    how can we
    claim a difference between the dAu and AuAu results?  I see two 
    possibilities:  1) Hope
    that we get blind referees.  (Or, at least, referees who are willing to 
    read between the lines,
    already being familiar with the results of the other experiments.) , or 
    2) Adding a statement
    along the lines of what you had in the earlier drafts, but with a more 
    cautious wording.  For
    example, at the end of Para 9, add "This enhancement persists even when 
    more central
    events are selected."
    
    As an aside, I updated brat over the weekend with what I believe is a 
    pretty good, but not
    final centrality calibration for the dAu runs.   Unfortunately, the rcf 
    disk problems are
    significantly hindering this work...
    
    ...steve
    
    
    On Monday, June 30, 2003, at 04:56 PM, Ian Bearden wrote:
    
    > Dear Collaborators:
    > Please find the latest draft attached as .ps and .pdf.
    > This draft has the final figures, as we see them.
    > This should be considered a 'final draft'  The idea is to submit to PRL
    > before midnight tomorrow,
    > so please make your comments quickly.  We would appreciate very much
    > if, where possible, you provide a suggestion as to how to change things
    > you don't like while keeping in mind that we are very close to the
    > allowable length for PRL.
    > Enjoy reading the draft, and please comment as quickly as possible.
    > Best  regards,
    > Claus and Ian
    >
    > <high-pt40.pdf><high-pt40.ps>
    


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