[Brahms-l] Bormio proceding

From: YUNG K LEE <yklee@jhu.edu>
Date: Fri Mar 19 2004 - 15:14:48 EST
Dear Claus,

I read your contribution with interest.
Your title suggests that this is 
an all-inclusive review of
the BRAHMS study of heavy ion collisions,
although in reality you review a partial
aspect of BRAHMS. The exciting part of
our recent works covers a larger ground
including different collision systems, AuAu,
dAu pp, dependency on global variable,
particle ratios, etc. I believe that you
can qualify your title to be more specific
about your coverage.

I wonder if you can be more qunatitative
in your description of measurements. For
example, instead of saying particle identification
in wide rapidity range, perhaps you can 
give numbers for the range. Instead of just
showing fits to the data in dashed line
perhaps you discuss what kind of fits you are
talking about. Do you have different fit
functions for different species? 

The summary section is even more general and
do not present any new results. The figure 5
looks all too familier. Your short discussion
of color glass condensate does not indicate
if such effects are indeed measured within
the BRAHMS experiment or not. I believe that
you were following the line of minimum discussion
for clarity of presentation or for the sake
of space limitation, but I believe that you
can pack the paper with more substance.

Perhaps the paper is not at the stage of
editing English, but it worries me after finding
the following samples of needs for editing:

1. Introduction, 2nd para: "a large sample cnetral..."
    -->"a large sample of central..." 

1. Introduction, 2nd para: "collisions are showed.."
    -->"collisions are shown..."

Figure 1. caption:  "The dashes lines"-->"The dashed lines"

2. Kinetic freeze out: "pi^+, K^+". I see only pi^-
   and K^- in Figure 1.

2. Kinetic freeze out, line 5: "can been modelled"
   -->"can be modeled"

3. Chemical "feeze out"-->"freeze out"

3. Chemical "feeze out": "fitting...interpolate...
   integrate"-->"fitting...interpolating...integrating..."

3. Chemical "feeze out", line 5: "four particles", I see
   six particles.

3. Chemical "feeze out", last lines: "Mev"-->"MeV"

Figure 4. in the figure. What are the labels "pol6"
   "momgaus" 

4. Nuclear Stopping, 2nd para.: "as function of .."
   -->"as a function of ..."

4. Nuclear Stopping, 2nd para., line 11: "higher that"
   -->"higher than"

4. Nuclear Stopping, 2nd para., line 11: "RICH"-->"RHIC"

4. Nuclear Stopping, 2nd para., line 12:
   "an regime"-->"a regime"

4. Nuclear Stopping, 2nd para., line 13:
   "on the beam"-->"of the beam"

4. Nuclear Stopping, 2nd para., fourth line from the end:
   "plateau like"-->"plateau-like"

4. Nuclear Stopping, 2nd para., third line from the end:
   "If this is"-->"If this is ..."-->"whether this is..."
   Either way the sentence does not sound very good.

4. Nuclear Stopping, 2nd para.:"recipy"-->"recipe"

5. Summary, 2nd para.: "the initial baryons..is only
   shifted"-->"the average rapidity
   of the initial baryons .. is only shifted"

5. Summary, 2nd para., third line: "coditions reminiscence"
   "condisions are reminiscent of"

5. Summary, 2nd para., sixth line: "work suggest"
   -->"work suggests"





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Received on Fri Mar 19 15:17:14 2004

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